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April 1, 2008
Climate Change: Believe It or Not*
All but one of the 11 recent developments and discoveries herein are real (or at least based in science). Which is the fake?
1) Glaciers Setting Unwanted Record
Experts have been monitoring 30 glaciers around the world for nearly three decades and the most recent figures, for 2006, show the biggest ever "net loss" of ice. The world's glaciers appear to be melting at the fastest rate in 5,000 years — faster than at any time since records began.
On the other hand...
2) Global Warming on Brief Hiatus
Faced with mounting evidence that the Earth is now cooling, scientists are saying that global warming may be "on a brief hiatus." Although the years since 2003 have been some of the hottest on record (at least here on the surface of the Earth), some 3,000 diving robots plying the ocean have suggested that the oceans haven't warmed up at all over the past few years.
Global warming and global cooling ... confused yet?
3) Climate Change Confusing Migratory Birds
In a sign of the blurring of the seasons — the passing of winter and the approach of summer — brought on by climate change, one swallow this year shunned migration to Africa and instead spent all winter in Britain. Swallows, which fly south in the autumn and reach as far as South Africa, are not normally seen again in Britain until late March. Yet the first sighting of a returning bird this year was in mid-February, on the Isle of Wight.
So, what can you do about climate change? Well, you could stop breathing...
4) Prevent Global Warming? Don't Hold Your Breath
OK, this may prove more difficult than previous research suggested. We must reduce carbon emissions to zero if we are to cut greenhouse gas emissions enough to avert a dangerous rise in global temperatures. Which means everybody has to die, considering we breath out carbon every second.
5) Greenhouse Wreckers
Don't divorce. It's bad for the environment. Reason: Two households use more heat, light and water than one. Cost: More than 70 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity and more than 600 billion gallons of water in the U.S. in a single year. Slate's unapproved/liberal conclusions: "1) Don't divorce; 2) Marry earlier; 3) Be more energy-efficient in your divorced household; 4) Get an apartment instead of a house; 5) Remarry; 6) Cohabitation is just as good as marriage; 7) Polygamy is even better; 8) In fact, how about a commune?"
6) Bagpipes: A Menace to the Environment
Bagpipes, once outlawed for being used as "seditious weapons of war," are now accused of being a threat to the environment. Apparently, over-intensive logging means that the African wood used to make bagpipes faces being wiped out. So conservation groups are urging musicians and instrument manufacturers to make sure their pipes derive from eco-friendly sources. As part of the campaign, Scots are being asked to fund the planting of "bagpipe trees" in a bid to atone for the environmental damage.
7) Meth Lab Does Its Part for Environment
A meth lab in a Wilson County, Tenn., mobile home was recently granted Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) certification, making it the first one in the country to receive the coveted environmental seal of approval. The production of methamphetamine typically involves the use of numerous noxious chemicals and produces several poisonous or explosive gases. To achieve LEED certification, a meth lab must install a complex series of scrubbers to clean the air before released. In addition, all liquid byproducts must be captured and disposed of at designated sites.
8) Environmental Regulations Target Car Washing
One county has banned rinsing car-wash detergent down storm drains; another city plans to restrict Boy Scout car-wash fund-raisers; and yet another has proposed to ban washing your car even at home. Penalties: tickets or jail. Reasons: detergent pollution and water waste. Alternatives: commercial car-washes or "waterless" soaps that require no rinsing.
9) Kite-Powered Cargo Ship Fights Climate Change
The world's first commercial container cargo ship partially powered by a giant computer-controlled kite began its maiden journey in January across the Atlantic to Venezuela, up to Boston and back to Europe. The state-of-the-art, paraglider-shaped kite, which measures 160 square meters (1,722 sq. ft.), will help reduce carbon dioxide emissions and could cut fuel consumption by as much as 20 percent as it tugs the ship, according to the designers.
10) Fake Manure a Concern in India
Farmers in and around Ooty, India, are concerned about the sale of fake organic manure in some fertilizer shops and by some private parties involved in the fertilizer trade. One farmer said that fertilizer traders came to his village and sold supposedly organic manure. The farmer bought it, hoping it would enhance yielding capacity, but it failed to give desired results. Organic manure is supposed to improve the soil, tilth and aeration, increase the water holding capacity of the soil and stimulate activity of micro-organisms that made plant food elements in the soil readily to crop.
11) Kangaroo Gas Could Ease Global Warming
Hoping to cut the emission of greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, Australian scientists are trying to give kangaroo-style stomachs to cattle and sheep. Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane. As such, scientists with the Queensland Government hope to transfer the bacteria to cattle and sheep that emit large quantities of the harmful gas.
Setting aside the contradictory claims in some of the reports above — apparently, the science remains unsettled — which item is the fake? Let us know in the comments below.
Resources for items in the first Comment box below.
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12 Comments1) Glaciers Melt 'At Fastest Rate in Past 5,000 Years'
http://tinyurl.com/3xr43a
by Juliette Jowit and Robin McKie
The Observer, March 16, 2008
2) The Mystery of Global Warming's Missing Heat
http://tinyurl.com/2omr9r
by Richard Harris
NPR.org, March 19, 2008
3) Climate Change Confuses Migrating Birds
http://tinyurl.com/22we67
UK Telegraph, March 16, 2008
4) Carbon Output Must Near Zero to Avert Danger, New Studies Say
http://tinyurl.com/32a3do
by Juliet Eilperin
The Washington Post, March 10, 2008
5a) Hold the Fart
http://tinyurl.com/34zegu
by William Saletan
Slate, Dec. 6, 2007
5b) Mother Nature Feels the Pains of Divorce
http://tinyurl.com/24sea5
by Randolph E. Schmid
The Associated Press, Dec. 3, 2007
5c) Divorce Found to Harm the Environment with Higher Energy, Water Use
http://tinyurl.com/2fmsj9
by Juliet Eilperin
The Washington Post, Dec. 4, 2007
6) Bagpipes a Threat to the Environment (and We're Not Talking Noise Pollution)
http://tinyurl.com/39dlc9
by Marc Horne
Scotland On Sunday, Dec. 2, 2007
7) A Model for the Nation
http://tinyurl.com/29m2vt
The Fabricator
Nashville Scene, Jan. 24, 2008
8a) Hold the Fart
http://tinyurl.com/34zegu
by William Saletan
Slate, Dec. 6, 2007
8b) Towns May Shut Off Tap On Home Car Washing
http://tinyurl.com/yv245k
by Jim Carlton
The Wall Street Journal, Dec. 4, 2007
9) German Ship Fights Climate Change with High-Tech Kite
http://tinyurl.com/2gz4cb
by Erik Kirschbaum
Reuters, Dec. 17, 2007
10) Sale of Fake Manure on the Rise in Ooty
http://tinyurl.com/2bkrbo
NewIndPress.com, Aug. 2, 2007
11) Kangaroo Farts Could Ease Global Warming
http://tinyurl.com/2qenmu
Agence France-Presse, Dec. 6, 2007
LEED is smoke and mirrors but I don't think a Meth lab has been certified.
April 1, 2008 2:21 PMonly the second is correct, Global Warming on Brief Hiatus.
I agree, unlikely LEED certification of an illegal operation.
April 1, 2008 2:55 PMDouble hoax - AlGore and global warming. Climate change has been with us since the beginning of recorded time and it will continue to change forever.
April 1, 2008 3:59 PMOnly # 4 is true. Unless we all die we are doomed!
Sound stupid? Listen, I mean REALLY LISTEN to Al Gore sometime.
To think that we puny humans can affect the climate is ridiculous. In the '60's we thought we'd be able to control the weather, we can't even forcast it!. In the '70's we were all going to freeze to death. Now the same "science says we'll all bake.
Look people this is NOT science. Is it observable, measurable, and REPEATABLE?. NO. Obviously this is a THEORY and NOT A FACT.
Further, if you want to make a difference in "greenhouse gas" emissions, I suggest you talk to the Chinese and the Indians where there are far fewer restrictions on polluters than here in the US or just hold your breath (good advice for AL Gore).
April 1, 2008 4:19 PMChuck, you are most likely preaching to the choir here. Most engineers I talk to (that don't have incredibly leftist leaning) don't believe in man-made global warming, that we had any effect on the ozone layer, etc.
BTW, I found this to be really funny: http://www.carboncreditkillers.com/
Al Gore and all of his stupid followers will look very very silly in 5-10 years when this is all shown to be in all likelihood (it will never be proven one way or the other until we have MANY more years of data) a huge mistake (man-made global warming, carbon footprints, etc.)
April 1, 2008 5:02 PMI'm going with No. 7. While I lag behind my peers in obtaining an LEED Certification, I'm pretty sure a Meth Lab wouldn't qualify. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm "GREEN" oriented...I drive a green HD 1500 truck; and, now that it's paid for, I especially like the green in my wallet.
April 1, 2008 5:33 PMLEED is not phony. I use it in my work all the time as a Federal Civil Service design engineer. It probably has little effect on global warming, which I think is a real thing, but not for the reasons that are thought of by the Union of Perturbed... er, CONCERNED Scientists and the oft-referred-to 1170 scientists who swear that GW is the real thing.
Look in such publications as "THE TWO-MILE TIME MACHINE," which describes the results of ice-coring in Greenland and Antarctica. It shows climate changes of massive swings over the last 250,000 years which make the 1 or 2 degrees Celsius that they fear look like small change. Try mean temperature swings of 10 to 20 degrees over periods as small as a hundred years, and lasting for centuries. Before the Gulf Stream and other currents formed about 12,000 years ago after the Younger Dryas, there appears to have been no temperature regulator for the planet. These swings were common. In fact, we were in a cooling trend for around 500 years in the recently-ended Little Ice Age. Now, the SUN, (which is the real determining factor on global climate) appears to be turning just a bit hotter for the near future, thus giving us less ice, less snow, and more tropical temperatures further north.
The effect of man on the planet is virtually nothing compared to what Mother Nature herself can do.
As for LEED.... It is a valuable tool, in part because if we use it, we can benefit. It will in the long run do something for us that is worth while. It will save us money by lowering our energy costs, and help us keep air and water clean by sensible building and recycling.
So, the enviro-Nazis have got it partially right, but mostly for the wrong reasons. They are another group who is selling us a bill of goods to pad their own agenda. Why? More than anything just to make them look good. Professional pride -- to get their names up in lights so they can have their 15 minutes of fame. Who cares if they're right or not?
April 1, 2008 11:40 PMRegarding #9 - The high tech kite thing sounds familiar. Sort of like a sail, which I think has been done before.
April 3, 2008 2:37 PMApparently it wasn't too difficult to determine the item based on a fabricated/satirical news piece -- "Meth Lab Does Its Part for Environment" -- as the first and third reader comments were correct.
Nonetheless, nicely done, Mike and John. Thanks to everyone for weighing in.
The full satirical article can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/29m2vt
Cheers,
David
April 4, 2008 11:38 AMenergy independence is much more important than global warming. when the US is energy independent there will be no more oil wars and the terrorists will all be too to reach us. This will save lives AND energy. The global warming crowd can't claim this. They can claim that they will damage and perhaps destroy capitalism which is their true aim. I for one am not done using capitalism. So I want to keep it. True believers in global warm are free to starve and freeze to death next winter--their choice. Think of all the energy they will save! By the by, don't ever expect a Greenie to sacrifice anything in his own life to "show the green way." Global warming is about controlling you and emptying your wallet. When it becomes about something else one of the first things you will notice is that you will understand nothing that is said about global warming. That is because it will all be said in Mandarin Chinese. Only the Chinese can stop man made climate change. They are going through an industrial revolution that is sure to dwarf our own. Does this mean we should do nothing? Far from it. Let's study what Denmark, France, Brazil, and Australia have done on energy and do likewise. Let's drill wherever we have oil and put a new nuclear power plant in every state. Let's use all our coal and natural gas. We don't need foreign energy. The only people who say we can't get off foreign oil are greedy conservatives who are getting paid every time a new oil war starts.
April 6, 2008 2:54 PM
