5) It's April Fools' Day.
The April 1 issue of our biweekly Industrial Market Trends newsletter is a little different. We thought it would be fun to take our "bread and butter" a little lightly — to mock serious business developments, important manufacturing trends, crass consumerism and, above all, ourselves. So we published some stories today that are, well, FAKE. Over-the-top. Not to be believed.

Simply put, it is an inside joke for our loyal readers.

Yet satire thrives on nuggets of truth. And in an anything-goes world, what is fake today could be real tomorrow. We hope these fake trends actually reveal quite a bit about the current state of industry, of business and of science.

4) If you do, everyone will know you're a fuddy-duddy.
That's right, a fuddy-duddy.

We all need a good laugh whenever we can get one, especially these days. The recent downturn in the American economy, rising prices of everything from milk to gas, a shaky road ahead for employers and employees, an ongoing war on terror, etc. — it does our minds some good to occasionally turn our focus away from a generally gloomy outlook of industry and the economy, instead taking a lighthearted approach to it all ... even if only briefly before getting back to the real world.

So let's lighten up for a bit today. We enjoyed the momentary distraction from no-nonsense editorial, and we hope you enjoy reading the fruits of our distraction.

3) Three words: Bagpipes. Destroying. Environment.
See today's "Climate Change: Believe It or Not."

2) There is no No. 2.

1) If you miss the humor, we'll miss our jobs.
Recent surveys show there are more domestic journalists and bloggers covering engineering and manufacturing fields than there are domestic industrial professionals working in engineering and manufacturing fields. (Source: The Institute of Convenient But Completely Made-up Statistics)

We took a chance this issue, trusting our readers' proven sense of humor. If this IMT issue fails miserably and we're bombarded with comments and e-mail saying things like "This isn't what I signed up to your e-mail for" and "These issues aren't a laughing matter" and "Wow, you guys are REALLY unfunny," IMT writers' jobs will be outsourced. Most likely to some place in Asia or Latin America or Nigeria.

If that happens, be warned: We will trust our replacements to avenge our job losses by flooding your in-boxes with spammy promises of "f-r-e-e credit rep0rts" and "s0lutions to ur erectile disfunctions f0rever!"

That, plus you will be banned for life from IMT — or at least until IMT writers crawl out from fetal position under their desks, wipe away their tears and move on to writing your next issue. Our hearts aren't impervious to your harsh words.

OK, maybe not. But we do hope you enjoy today's lightheartedness. And we surely thank you for indulging us.