ACHIEVEMENT
You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

CONSULTING
If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

MOTIVATION
If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing.

AMBITION
The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

MEETINGS
None of us is as dumb as all of us.

…and my favorite…

TEAMWORK
A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.

These are from Despair.com, described by its staff as…

"A company that would become the bold embodiment of every shortcoming rife within corporate America. A business dictatorship with draconian tendencies. A company grossly obsessed with margins. A peddler of absurdly embellished corporate publicity."

The art direction--of the posters that include the above words of wisdom--is masterful. "They look so real!" Just like breast implants. Dr. Kersten of Despair.com is certainly a genius—with a great sense of humor, genetically-modified with the admirable realization that the lighter side matters, too. In fact, it's critical to our existence. Kind of like Fritos®.

You've got to see this stuff. It's wonderful.

Hoping that Dr. Kersten isn't the litigious sort, I've included only a small sampling of Despair.com's offerings. Go ahead. Buy a poster. Maybe your company will even pay for it. Tell them it's for a new motivational program. Then, change one of the projectile vomit-inducing originals--in the hallway leading to your company's boardroom--for one of the Despair.com versions. See if anyone notices.

I don't think Dr. K will sue me. After all, it's free advertising. Right?