…Insurance Workers Win Big, Brits Find New Ways to Say “Pay Cut,” CDC Warns of Dangerous Virus and MORE.

$16,000 Economic Stimulus Package
Inspired by President Barack Obama’s $787 billion economic stimulus package, Brewton, Ala. pharmacist Danny Cottrell decided to launch his own version with $16,000 in $2 bills.

Last week Cottrell gave each of his full-time employees $700 and part-time employees $300, and asked them to donate 15 percent to charity and spend the rest locally. Cottrell paid his employees in $2 bills so that he and the rest of the business community could see how the money circulates.

Brewton merchants have since felt the impact. “I’ve had three customers this week come in and pay with $2 bills,” said Candy Smith, owner of a clothing boutique in downtown Brewton.

Some of the $2 bills have even circulated back to the pharmacy.

$50 Gamble Pays Out $216 Million
Ten Chubb Insurance company workers decided to pool together $50 to buy 50 quick-pick tickets for the New Jersey lottery’s Mega Millions jackpot Monday afternoon. By Wednesday morning, they were the winners of the second-largest single-ticket jackpot in New Jersey history, winning $216 million.

Robert Space, who bought the tickets, got into work Wednesday and fired off a one-line e-mail to his nine co-workers who pitched in to buy the tickets: “We won the big one.”

Replies came flying back with “Hahahaha” wrote one, and “GREAT. Where do I pick up the cash?” said another. Then they saw the ticket for themselves.

“It takes a lot of stress out of life,” Space said of the winnings. The 10 will split a $216 million annuity or a one-time payout of about $140 million.

The winning numbers were: 26, 32, 35, 43, 52 and the Mega Ball was 10.

Sweatshop Employees Can Now Work On-the-Go
From the Onion:

Yikes.

Euphemisms for Pay Cut
In the face of huge obstacles, the Brits keep their breezy resolve. The Financial Times (FT) needs some staff to take a pay cut. And by “pay cut” they mean “extra summer vacation time.”

The British newspaper is “offering” staff “the chance” to “work fewer hours, over summer, including a three-day working week option” according to the UK Guardian. In a document to FT staff regarding the “global voluntary scheme” offering flexible working options:

Do you fancy spending more time with your family over the summer months? Have you been meaning to book that trip of a lifetime? Would you like to improve you work-life balance in 2009? If the answer is yes to any of the above questions, the FT may be able to assist.

And they better accept, or you know some folks are going to have to get laid off. “Earlier this month FT journalists voted to hold a ballot on strike action in a bid to stave off compulsory redundancies among the 80 positions being cut,” the Guardian reports.

According to the FT e-mail, however, taking advantage of any of the flexibility options “will have no negative consequences for your future employment.” Still, FT stated there are still plans being put into place to cut costs. So, just in case, workers might consider working on their farewell e-mail, which is now considered an art form.

Malpractice Consequence Stings
“What can HR do when employees make serious mistakes at their jobs?” HR Blunders.com asks. “Options include suspension, demotion and dismissal. But when a doctor makes a mistake with a member of the Saudi Arabian royal family, the consequences can be much more severe.”

Saudi Arabia sentenced a doctor to 15 years in prison and 1,500 lashes once he was convicted of malpractice, supposedly after treating a Saudi princess. It is alleged that the man has already received at least one of his weekly installment of 70 lashes.

Warning: Dangerous Virus
From an e-mail that’s again making its rounds:

The Centers for Disease Control (CD) has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand and even electronically.

This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT!

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Reboot (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to your friends. If you do not have friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Toodles!