Successfully managing a boss is a challenge but often achievable. Here are some practical things you can do to manage your boss without sabotaging your job.

Our relationship with our boss is a mutually dependent one. Yet “managing your boss” does not mean manipulating your boss, as the classic Harvard Business Review (HBR) article Managing Your Boss clarifies.

Rather, it means building a cooperative working relationship with him or her. When you do this, you become proactive in shaping the relationship and ultimately in increasing your ability to advance your own career.

Here are some practical things you can do to manage your boss without engaging in self-defeating behavior.

1) Remember Your Purpose and Value
Bosses sometimes have lousy short-term memory. Remember your purpose. “Don’t let your boss sidetrack you from your goals and purpose,” says Michael H. Smith, Ph.D., an Oakland-based organization consultant, speaker and trainer for more than three decades. Smith, who specializes in resolving organizational conflicts and team building, writes at his Web site, “Focus on what needs to get accomplished… .”

Make sure your boss knows just how valuable you are. To do this, suggests BNET.com, “create a ‘core message’ — a brief summary of exactly what you are doing and why it is vital to the boss’ success.” Then find a way to work that message into every conversation that you have with your boss.

In other words, market yourself to your boss. DumbLittleMan recommends: “Take subtle steps to ensure that what you are working on is not forgotten.”

2) Cultivate Compatible Personal Interests
This is tough, considering the fine line between a professional working relationship with your boss and becoming best friends. “The ideal situation is to have a boss who looks out for your interests during difficult times,” says BNET. “This protectiveness is nurtured when the boss thinks of you not just as a competent contributor but as a kindred spirit.”

We’re not encouraging brown-nosing here, but if you do share similar interests, exploiting them is a good way to relate with your boss — who you may come to find is actually a human being with human interests.

3) Understand Where Your Boss Is Coming From
Understand where your boss is coming from to know what he or she expects. Remember, your boss likely has his or her own, too. So ask your boss what kind of pressures he or she is under. You may think it isn’t your place to ask, but it can make a big difference in your understanding why your boss manages you the way he or she does — particularly if the boss is not managing you properly.

If your boss is saying “no” to your idea because there are insufficient funds, don’t just gripe. Rather, ask what is needed to move forward and how you can help. If you do not want a “no” or procrastination, give him or her a hand.

4) Learn How to Complain
“Don’t be a pain in the butt,” DumbLittleMan says. “Don’t be a whiner or complainer.” Learn how to communicate properly. State your complaint and its impact clearly without being defensive or aggressive.

For instance, consider this complaint proposed by career and business coach Barry K. Zweibel: “We are running into problems and looking bad in the organization because I am not getting information I need to do the job.”

In other words, be concise and avoid an “in your face” type of approach. And keep your boss in the loop, reassuring him or her that you know what you’re doing. But remember: You may represent only 1 percent of your boss’ problems, so don’t make it as if it is 100 percent.

5) Be Proactive
Be a role model. “You need to gain your boss’ respect and confidence and in the workplace, usually, the only way to do this is to prove your worth,” DumbLittleMan notes. “Let your work speak for you — it goes a lot farther than just kissing ass.”

“If you want your boss to do certain things, do them yourself,” says Smith. “For example, if he or she doesn’t listen well, practice active listening in your interactions. He or she will probably match your positive behavior.”

Above all, do not go to your boss only with problems — also take potential solutions to present. “Problems usually have several aspects,” wrote Jacques Horovitz, a professor of Service Strategy, Service Marketing & Service Management at global business school IMD, at Rediff in 2005. “It is usually a gap between an objective and the result; there are options to close the gap; there is a choice of one option to be made; key tasks, dates, people and resources needed must be defined.

“On which of those steps in problem solving do you want your boss’ input?”

Resources

Managing Your Boss
by John J. Gabarro and John P. Kotter
Harvard Business Review, 1980

How to Manage Your Boss
by Geoffrey James
BNET.com

Manage Your Boss Effectively
by Barry K. Zweibel
Hodu.com

Learn to Manage Your Manager
by Ispf (GradMoneyMatters)
DumbLittleMan, Jan. 28, 2008

Managing Your Boss
American Psychological Association

Managing Your Boss
by Michael H. Smith
Michaelhsmithphd.com

Are You Managing Your Boss?
by Myra White
Management-Issues, Oct. 18, 2007

The Workplace: Criticizing Your Boss: A Survivor’s Guide
by Matt Villano
International Herald Tribune, June 27, 2006