…Human Zoo, New Monkey, Drunk Monkey, Near-Obsolete Light Bulbs and a Crazy Parking Garage.

German Gets His Wheels Back!
First of all, before we begin with this week’s Light Friday, we wish to congratulate Mr. Heinz Stucke, who got his bike back.

You see, 66-year-old Stucke, aka the Bike Man, has spent 44 years cycling ’round the world — 335,000 miles through 193 countries since 1962 — on the same three-speeder. His journey, in fact, is the world’s longest cycle ride.

And his bike was stolen from outside his tent on Tuesday, within four hours of arriving in England.

Distraught, he appealed to police and media.

The bike was recovered on Wednesday, when it was found abandoned in a park.

Robot Could Eliminate New Yorkers’ Unwanted Roommates
European scientists have developed a matchbox-sized robot that can infiltrate a pack of cockroaches and influence their collective behavior.

“The tiny robot smells and acts just like a roach, fooling the real insects into accepting it as one of their own,” reports New Scientist. Through its behavior, the robot can persuade a group of cockroaches to venture out into the light despite their normal preference for the dark, for example.

The researchers who came up with the wheeled “Insobot” believe it could be used to catch cockroaches, and that bots designed to mimic other animals could eventually work on farms controlling flocks of sheep and chickens by similar means.

Human Zoo from Down Under to Open in Shanghai
Four Australian men will live in a glass box for two weeks in June, The Associated Press reported yesterday. The public will be able to watch them sleep, eat and bathe.

The group, known as the Urban Dream Capsule, has drawn crowds with similar displays in London, Montreal, Hong Kong and other cities. The 650-square-foot glass capsule will be decked out in a Shanghainese theme, while the public can send e-mail or faxes to them, or put messages on the glass.

It’s like the lamest of reality shows, really…only, you know, real. How exciting. Then again, the U.S. supports David Blaine‘s increasingly pointless acts of…whatever you want to call them.

DNA Test Confirms: This Bear Is Twice the Bear of its Peers
A DNA test has confirmed the first documented case of a grizzly-polar bear hybrid in the wild.

Territorial officials in the far northern reaches of Canada seized the bear’s body, and a DNA test from Wildlife Genetics International confirmed the hybrid was born of a polar bear mother and grizzly father. (The bear was killed during Canada’s polar bear hunt, which runs from December through the end of May.)

The bear’s white fur was spotted brown, its eyes were ringed with black, its face was slightly indented, it had a mild hump to its back and long claws.

Some of the names proposed for the hybrid: “polargrizz,” “pizzly” or “grolar bear.” Someone suggested calling it “nanulak,” combining the Inuit names for polar bear, “nanuk,” and grizzly bear, which is “aklak.”

Polar bears and grizzlies have been paired successfully in zoos and their offspring proven fertile, but there had been no documented case in the wild until now.

It hasn’t yet been uncovered how the father grizzly managed to get along with the mother polar bear long enough to mate. Nor if post-coital cuddling was involved.

This next item is not so much even the slightest bit funny so much as it is kinda scary. You should know:

Justice Dept. Quickly Gives Up Not Given Security Clearance on Domestic Spying Inquiry
The government has abruptly ended an inquiry into the warrantless eavesdropping program because the National Security Agency (NSA) refused to grant Justice Department lawyers security clearance. The Justice Department’s Office of Professional Responsibility (OPR) sent a fax mid week to Democratic Rep. Maurice Hinchey of New York saying it was closing its inquiry because “without clearance it could not examine department lawyers’ role in the program.”

In other words, the OPR said, “Please let us have clearance.” The NSA said, “Nope.” And thus the inquiry ended.

In other NSA news this week, it was made known that the agency has been secretly collecting phone call records of tens of millions of Americans, including calls made within the U.S.A. Apparently, the NSA has been building up the database using records provided by AT&T Inc., Verizon Communications Inc. and BellSouth Corp., but the program “does not involve the NSA listening to or recording conversations.”

But is this really a surprise to anyone?

Hey, hey, dear reader. Cheer up, it’s not all bad news…

RED WINE CAN STOP YOU FROM GOING DEAF!!!!
Too loud? Sorry. Scientists now say red wine can stop you from going deaf.

While it’s been known for some time that it (in moderation): is good for your heart; can ward off colds; and strengthen your immune system — now Dr. Jochen Schacht in America tells New Scientist magazine (via SKY News) that moderate amounts of red protect the delicate hairs in the inner ear. Experiments found antioxidants in red wine, like green tea, “neutralized chemical agents that attack the hairs.

“It certainly can’t hurt to increase the amount of red wine or green tea you consume,” the good doctor said.

Did You Know?
Light bulbs are nearing obsoleteness. As energy costs soar, the future of the traditional incandescent light bulb is beginning to dim, according to an article at The Christian Science Monitor:

Light-emitting diodes (LEDs) and their cousins, organic light-emitting diodes (OLEDs), are two developing light sources beginning to beam into homes and offices. LEDs are showing up in night lights, flashlights, outdoor pathway lights, and Christmas lights. OLEDs are not as prevalent, but cellphones, notebook computers, and TVs made with them are moving from prototypes into products.

Those involved in lighting research say these new technologies will revolutionize the way we use lighting over the next decade, as they can be made into extremely thin, flexible glowing sheets.

New Genus of African Monkey Found
A monkey originally thought to be a new species has been found to actually be a new genus of monkey.

The Rungwecebus kipunji, which sports a distinctive Mohawk stripe of hair and can be found in Tanzania, Africa, is the first new genus of monkey for 83 years, reports BBC News. The animal is already under threat from logging and hunting, the researchers warn.

In other monkey news…

Drunk Monkeys Found Similar to Drunk Humans
New analysis finds that booze affects monkeys much the same way it affects people, reports Discovery News.

Observed behaviors strongly correspond monkeys’ alcohol use with human patterns of consumption, according to the journal Methods-published study of members of a rhesus macaque social group.

“It was not unusual to see some of the monkeys stumble and fall, sway, and vomit,” said Scott Chen, one of the study’s authors and a researcher at the National Institutes of Health Animal Center. “In a few of our heavy drinkers, they would drink until they fell asleep.”

Researchers also attribute a predisposition to alcohol abuse in some monkeys and people to a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

And finally…

Kinda Like a Car Vending Machine
Below are two photos of a Volkswagen storage facility in Wolfsburg, Germany. It is an actual 20-story car tower that, according to Gizmodo, takes up merely 20 percent of the space of a conventional parking garage handling the same number of vehicles.

Volkswagen introduces new-car customers to the facility in a showy delivery process. Reports The Cool Hunter:

In a fully automated procedure, your new car is brought down to you from one of the 20-story Car Towers. Large signboards in the Customer Center show you when your turn has come. Then, you’re handed the keys, your picture is taken, the glass doors open and your brand-new car appears. You’re all set to go.

Cheers.