…interesting results of rotted wood, and even more ways to know if you’re really an engineer.

Gimme a C, a Bouncy C!

Last week, we mentioned in Light Friday the strange case of a mysteriously vocal Antarctic iceberg. In a perhaps related story from IndiaDaily.com, we may have proof that yet another element of the planet may be singing. According to this article, fishermen in the area of Phuket, Thailand’s Andaman Beach have observed odd, underwater sounds. Starting exactly six months prior to the region’s tragic tsunami, the sounds are accompanied by bursts of electromagnetic waves. The article suggests that “…computational models exploring numerical analysis of the stress at the plate levels are showing some clues. There is a harmonic progression observed in the level of stresses observed in the crust levels.” Scientists are also considering the possibilities that the sounds and waves are related to extraterrestrials and/or a “new military weapons system.” Now that’s sound reporting.

Wax On, Face Off

While ethics battles are brewing over the world’s first (partial) face transplant, bionic fiction is becoming science fact, according to this article at Physorg.com. A European project called CYBERHAND has developed “…a complete, fully sensitized five-fingered hand. The CYBERHAND prototype has 16 Degrees of Freedom (DoFs) made possible by the work of six tiny motors.” Boasting an opposable thumb, the system takes “… inspiration from the real hand, where a muscle pulls a tendon inside a synovial sheath, CYBERHAND’s finger cables run through a Teflon sheath pulled by a DC motor. So the proximal, medial and distal phalanges, those bones between your finger knuckles, are all driven by the same tendon. This approach is called underactuation as there are more Degrees of Freedom than Degrees of Movement (motors); it means the prosthesis has a self-adaptive grasp.” In contrast to the face transplant, an ethics group has given the nod for clinical validation of the system, probably starting next year. Manufacturing will likely be outsourced and labeled as the work of extraterrestrials.

So, A Naked Woman Falls Through the Ceiling…
…no, seriously. Engineers in the Russian town of Solnechnaya have blamed rotted wood for an incident in which a naked woman dropped through a couple’s ceiling. “I had just dozed off and then I heard this huge crash and realized what had happened. The bathroom floor just collapsed under the bath and I came crashing through the ceiling of the people below me. They seemed as shocked as I was when they saw me lying there naked in the bath in the middle of their living room.” According to this article at Ananova, Rozalia Valiakhmetova was treated for leg injuries but was otherwise unhurt, despite bringing her tub along with her during the fall. Reportedly, the intrusion violated a variety of ethics guidelines for plummeting humans.

Stepping Into the Abyss? Aw, Gimme a Hug.

Uncovering yet another piece of evidence that the end is near, “Singapore scientists looking for ways to transmit the sense of touch over the Internet have devised a vibration jacket for chickens and are thinking about electronic children’s pajamas for cyberspace hugs.” According to this article from Reuters, the jacket “…gives the animal the feeling of being touched by its owner.” Why? The development is also said to be leading to human-wearable devices that will, for example, enable group hugs at the successful completion of global engineering collaboration projects.

You Might Be An Engineer If…

My apologies for the one’s you’ve already heard. Hey, we try to keep things fresh.

So, you might be an engineer if…

• …you can size distillation columns in your head, but need a pencil and paper to figure the tip on a $45 restaurant bill…and think that spending $45 for dinner is exorbitant.
• …you’ve ever described your spouse in terms of MTBF.
• …you automatically associate the words “sexy,” “beautiful” and “new butterfly valve.”
• …you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid.
• …you cannot write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
• …you think the value of a book is directly proportional to the amount of tables, charts and graphs it contains.
• …your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
• …you’ve explained your position in the company to a junior engineer as “I am a vast oasis of knowledge in a desert of ignorance.”
• …you lost your wedding ring for six months and found it in a box of brass tubing fittings in your desk.
• …you refer to your children as your “pilot units.”
• …you think of the Carnot cycle every time you turn on your AC unit.
• …you look at objects in the distance and think of mean free path.
• …you explain surface tension to your 10 year old when he/she asks why you are adding oil to boiling spaghetti.
• …you have a clock with inverted numbers that runs counter-clockwise in your office — and you prefer it that way.
• …you try to explain entropy to strangers at your table during casual dinner conversation.

And the #1 Reason (for now)…

• You have a favorite pump manufacturer

Enjoy your weekend…