Most acronyms started out with good intent, value, and meaning–simple ways to express big, sometimes complex things with fewer syllables. Has all of that changed?

Acronyms seem to be the latest thing, or maybe there are just more of them. Perhaps they’re overused. Certainly, most of today’s acronyms have less meaning. “Hey. Our software has capabilities beyond (or not quite matching) PDM. What shall we call it?” PDM, no doubt, as opposed to The Old Days when acronyms signified something, often something important. For example, consider TV, AM, FM, ABC (the network, not Already Been Chewed), NBC (let’s just add more letters), CBS, GM, GOP, and WACs. We knew what those things meant. Important things. What AM and FM technically meant, though, was unimportant. People didn’t know or care about amplitude or frequency modulation. AM meant poor quality; FM meant good. Really, that’s all we needed to know. Let’s not forget other acronyms like AA and AAA. While both are helpful to certain people, combining those acronyms (AAAAA?) spells disaster.

Today, the NIMH reports, “ADHD, one of the most common mental disorders in children and adolescents, affects an estimated 4.1 percent of youths ages 9 to 17 in a 6-month period.” ADHD? ADD? SSDD, according to most research. Hmm. That seems an awfully small percentage when one notices how many children are bogged down with Ritalin. The site continues, “The disorder frequently persists into adolescence and occasionally into adulthood.” Pharmaceutical executives, however, appear very clearly focused. In just a quick glance at this site, there are 49 acronyms for a variety of National Institute/s and Offices. You’d think all of those institutes and offices would report things more accurately.

CAD, MCAD, and ECAD make some sense. If you’re designing anything with a computer, you — along with your software and perhaps your workstation — fit into one of those categories. CAE? Gimme a break. Note to Industry Gods: Drop this one. It means nothing. CAM? Okay, ‘manufacturing’ is slightly more focused than ‘engineering,’ but not by much. It’s still worthless, as manufacturing and computers are forever inseparable. Computer-aided manufacturing is akin to LHP (Live Human with Pulse). Can’t really have one without the other, so what’s the point?

Personally, I’d rather deal with real acronyms like GM and AARP. In those examples, General Motors and the American Association for Retired Persons existed first—and had meaning—before the acronyms followed. Convenience or ‘impact’ acronyms such as DARE and SCORE are cheating. Scenario: Someone in marketing or advertising said, “Hey, I know! Here’s a cool word that we can use! All we have to do now is figure out the words to match the letters! Just think of the impact! Imagine how we can use that in campaigns!” Also consider one like ASK: Asking Saves Kids. Really vague, but I’m sure the intent is good. However, do we really need a concerted, nationwide campaign to realize that which we (should?) know instinctually and practice as parents?

B4 any acronyms go away, a whole new crop will sprout. Decades-old chatcronyms such as BBL, BRB, BTW, GMTA, IMHO, LOL, NP, OMG, ROFL, TC, TTYL, TY, WB are making it into professional e-mails and collaborative sessions. They mean something, and save some typing. I wonder, though, if TC means as much — on either end — as taking another two seconds (I’m a slow typist.) to spell-out ‘take care.’ Even single letters now have meaning, with text messaging (or SMS, for Short Messaging Service) and personalized license plates breeding more shortcuts every day: B (be), C (see), G (gee), K or KK (okay), M (am), N (in), O (oh), R (are), U (you), G (grin), S (smile). Mixing letters and numbers makes my aging eyes cross. For example, H3 L3FT means ‘He Left.’ Doing that takes longer, going against the age-old purpose of using acronyms: less talking, fewer syllables, less typing. WWJD? I’ll take a wild guess that he avoids acronyms. Though, I wonder what He would’ve thought about JP2?

Some believe that acronyms are an American thing. Apparently not, and that’s merely one international example.

Thankfully, there’s also a lighter, comedic side to acronyms, such as…

MCSE: Minesweeper Consultant and Solitaire Expert
MBA: Mediocre But Arrogant
PhD: Piled High and Deep
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
BASIC: Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
SCSI: System Can’t See It
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industrial Acronyms

…to name just a few.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I’ll flatter Bill Maher and swipe (loosely) from his show the excellent New Rules segment: ‘NAR’ in this case, for New Acronym Rule:

NAR #5: Stop mixing letters and numbers. It causes migraines.

NAR #4: MEANING is more important than catchy.

NAR #3: If profanity is behind an acronym but not spelled out, it is not profanity. If someone who is profanity-challenged can say, for example, “Go to heck!” and mean something Really Nasty then, wtf, the rest of us can do the same.

NAR #2: Excepting (pack a lunch if you’re going to read the following link) governmental applications (Is there a Department of Acronyms? Wait! Let’s figure out what words fit DUH!), acronym use is okay. They’re all part of a language, one that’s becoming more universal.

NAR #1: Roll On Floor Laughing, or Laugh Your @!# Off. Pick one and go for it. Just once.

Tyvm. Ggp. Bfn and bbl. Afk…………

p.s. Take care…