I really thought all the sensors that could possibly be invented have already been invented. (Yes, much like the Commissioner of the U.S. Office of Patents said, in 1899, “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”) Then Honeywell comes along with 10—count ‘em, 10—new sensors.

The Honeywell press release looked interesting enough though, I thought, “Huh. More sensors,” and dispassionately swilled more Pepsi. Then it occurred to me. (Okay, it wasn’t a life-changing revelation.) Sensors to monitor equipment state have been around forever, but for the most part they’ve been based on standard, off-the-shelf stuff. Maybe these are acually new and, dare I think, different?

The company recently introduced Equipment Health Monitoring (EHM) System sensors designed specifically to monitor a variety of signs; enabling operators to shut down the equipment before the snap-crackle-pop stage, and way before ‘thud.’

Here’s a rundown on the different types of sensors offered:

• EHM-D-COOL/Temperature Loss Detector which monitors heating systems, hot water supplies, oil coolers, air conditioning outlets, exhaust venting systems, chimneys, etc. Why chimneys? A drop in chimney temperature could indicate that a boiler is down.

• EHM-D-FLOW/Fluid Flow Detector. It monitors heating systems, piping, vessels, and valves.

• EHM-D-HEAT/Temperature Rise Detector. This one’s designed to monitor gear boxes, controls, switchgear, perishable goods, and equipment under test.

• EHM-D-HISS/Fluid Leak Detector. Not only does it monitor process equipment as well as compressed air and steam systems, but it has a cool name. “I live in the desert, see, and really need one of those sensors that detects a hisssssssssssssssss. Oh, please, may I have one?”

• EHM-D-KNOCK/Mechanical Noise Detector. I could use one of these under my hood, especially with the factory-demanded 5W-20 engine oil. What were those people thinking? ANYway, this sensor is aware of water hammer, pump cavitation, lubrication failure (ah-HA!), machine resonance shift, and worn brake pads and shoes.

• EHM-D-RUMBLE/Mechanical Wear Detector for conveyor system, marine power generation, paper production, mining/quarrying, and rolling mills.

• EHM-D-SNAP/Mechanical Insertion Detector. See? You thought I was joking with the ‘snap’ references. This one’s also very cool, and unique, sensing click-to-fit components such as wiring harnesses and snap-fit assemblies (plastic hose, fittings, retaining rings, connectors, etc.)

• EHM-D-SONIC for any audible noise application. (It can also interface with a rocket launcher for those pesky, subwoofered Hondas.)

• EHM-D-TILT/Slope Change Detector, applicable for bridges, temporary structures, ships, cranes, forklift trucks and other mobile equipment. This has to be valuable, as tilting, in these applications can have disastrous results.

All have user-adjustable setpoints, so it’s up to you to fine-tune when tilt, rumble, knock, or hissssssssssssssss have gone just a tad too far and could lead to ‘thud.’

There. A serious blog item, with no racing, politics, religion, conspiracy theories, ranting, or ramblings of a lunatic. Are you happy now? Are you?? Geez…